Talkin' John Birch Paranoid Blues (Live at Carnegie Hall, New York, NY - October 1963) Lyrics

This is called talkin John Birch blues
And there ain't nothing wrong with this song

Well, I was feelin' sad and kinda blue
I didn't know what I was gonna do
They Communists was comin' around
They was in the air
They was on the ground
They was all over

So I run down most hurriedly
And joined the Birch Society
I got me a secret membership card
I went back home to the yard
Started looking on the side-walk
Under the hedges

Well I got up in the mornin' I looked under my bed
I was lookin' every places for them gol-darned Reds
Looked behind the sink, and under the door
Looked in the glove compartment of my car
Couldn't find ' any

Look behind the cloths, behind the chair
Lookin' for them Reds everywhere
I looked way up my chimney hole
Even looked deep inside my toilet bowl
They got away

I heard some footsteps by the front porch door
I grabbed my shortgun from the floor
Snuck around the house with a huff and a hiss
Saying hands up you communist
It was the mail man, he punched me out

Well, I was sittin' home an' started to sweat
I figured they was in my T.V. set
I peeked behind the picture frame
Got a shock from my feet, right up in the brain
Them reds did it
Hooting in the television

Well, I quit my job so I could work alone
Then I changed my name to Sherlock Holmes
Followed some clues from my detective bag
And discovered they was red stripes on the American flag
Betty Ross

Now Eisenhower, he's a Russian spy
Lincoln, and Jefferson and then Roosevelt guy
To my knowledge there's just one man
That's really and truely an American
That's George Lincoln Rockwell
I know for a fact he hates Commies
Cause he picketed the movie Exodus

Well, I finally started thinkin' straight
When I run outa things to investigate
I couldn't imagine nothin else
So now I'm home investigatin' myself
Hope I don't find out too much, good God